The Tulare County Fair is back!

You know what I’m excited for??? …. the fucking fair!That’s at least what I said throughout my teenage years. The Tulare Fair always comes at the dead end of the summer and with it brings gang fights and allergies.

I compiled a list of my top 10 favorite things about the Tulare County Fair:

10. Exhibit Halls

The exhibit halls are strategically placed at the entrance of the fair and provide fine swamp cooling on a hot day. While enjoying the hot air that is blowing, you can check out kids’ artwork and/or grab free pens from local political candidates.

9. Kopi Sotiropulos

Kopi has been a mainstay of the Tulare Fair for awhile now. You can usually find him between the animals being shown and number 3 on my list. Feel free to tell him, “great day” and take a cheesy pic with him.

8. Hypnotist

I absolutely hate the hypnotist, but I find it funny to see people act like complete weirdos on stage in front of a large crowd.

7. Destruction Derby

The destruction derby is always a fun event to attend at the fair. The derby starts at 7 pm on Saturday the 15th. Note: I have not been to this event in over 10 years at least.

6. Gold Fish

There’s nothing quite satisfying like winning a shiny new goldfish by spending $15 worth of ping pong balls to throw into a small fish bowl. Is that how they still do it? I don’t know, but that shit is never not cool to play. Or win.

5. The Gravitron

I remember the first time I saw the alien spaceship ride that spun fast at the fair. And I was terrified. This later became my favorite ride at the fair as your face gets sucked back to your seat your while standing up as a carny acts as a sort of dj mumbling words that are hard to understand. 8.93/10 ride

4. Carny Games

The carny games were nicely placed throughout the midway of the fairgrounds. They provided enough space for the carnies to holler at you until you acknowledged their supposed deal. And it sure did work on me. Spent lots of money popping balloons to get 2 Pac and Beavis & Butthead framed pictures.

3. Smokey the Bear Tree Carvings

One of the main staples of the fair for me while growing up was not leaving the fairgrounds until I got my annual Smokey the Bear tree carving. I can smell the fresh wood shavings with the hint of cow shit now.

2. Budweiser Concert Stage

I remember the good ole days of paid concerts at the raceway stage. I saw great acts like Weird Al, Wallflowers, Clint Black, ZZ Top and others there. Nowadays, the Budweiser stage provides free concerts with fair admission. This years featured act is Smash Mouth. They will be walking on the sun this Sun. night. Or if you prefer all star, make your own phrasing. Open to suggestions.

1. Corn Dogs

The best things about the fair are the fried corn dogs. The funnel cakes and overpriced lemonade are strong runners up, but the corn dog is a can’t miss at the fair.

Let me know what I missed in the comment section below.